I met a mom the other day who was going through that awful phase of trying to “sleep-train” her child. Okay, so, no, we never did that. It never made sense to me, and I could never, ever do it. This mom was having a rough time adjusting to her nine-month-old not sleeping and needing her during the night not just because it is exhausting, but also because her first child was “a sleeper.”

Huh.  What does that even mean?

I know I’m not alone in having children who still, at the ages of six and four, get up at least once and often more every night. My aunt told me when my son was little and I was a zombie from months of getting up four and five times a night, that her three boys didn’t sleep through the night until they were eighteen, and then probably just from the beer. Heh.

Just before Christmas, my four-year-old daughter became very concerned about Santa and she needed deets, man!  “Mommy.  Does Santa check all the rooms?”, “Um, why?” “Does Santa check all the rooms to see if anyone is unsleeping?”  Aaaand, yes, since that is so adorable and far more delightful than “being woken up”, I am unsleeping these days.  As always.

I distinctly remember the last time both of my children slept through the night: It was after a day of driving, all-day, and one child had thrown up all over the van. I cleaned up her car seat in the bathtub of a motel room, and then we all slept like the dead for seven hours. It was glorious. That was ten months ago.

Right, so on to why I never get to sleep a full night….

  1. Someone needs to be woken up to go to the bathroom or she’ll pee the bed.
  2. Someone pees in her bed.
  3. Someone pees in my bed.
  4. Someone pees in her bed, gets cleaned up, goes back to sleep and then pees in my bed.
  5. Someone has a leg cramp.
  6. Someone else also has a leg cramp.
  7. Someone had a bad dream.
  8. Someone’s dream-catcher is not working.
  9. The cat was snoring and woke someone up….who had to wake me up to tell me.
  10. The cat bit someone’s foot…who had to wake me up to tell me.
  11. The cat was not sleeping on someone’s bed and her feet got cold.
  12. Someone misses the cat who died in the fall.
  13. Someone doesn’t want to go to school in the morning.
  14. Someone was cold.
  15. Someone was worried about being cold at the bus stop in the morning.
  16. Someone heard an owl.
  17. Someone heard a wolf.
  18. Someone is upset about the lampshade I broke two years ago and replaced with the wrong one.
  19. Someone is upset because I turned off the light in the hall.
  20. Someone “wants to ‘nuggle.”

***None of these reasons include vomit, fevers, sore throats or coughing jags, but we all know they are there too.***

Ah, well. Such is life. Sometimes you sleep, and sometimes you unsleep.

Asleep, with toys
May the topography of your bed be just right.

5 thoughts on “Unsleeping

  1. So true. I celebrate when my kids both sleep thru the night. But when they do, I usually wake up on my own! Doh! I’ve been thinking the neighbors frickin rooster crowing is a crying kid. Alas… You are not alone.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s