Lexisms: Things My Four-Year-Old Says

She has lots to say and most of it makes us think or laugh and all of it makes me happy.  Check it out.

(By the way, she pronounces “them” as “wem”, “the” as “le” and “that” as “yat” among many other endearing peculiarities–those “th” sounds, I tell you.)

“Mommy!  Can I cut open yis dead worm to see what le meat looks like?  ‘Cause wem is already dead you know.”

Me:  …… “Um.”

Her:  “Did you know yat if you cut a dead worm in half, it is still dead!”

Me: …..”Um.”


Holding up an un-inflated balloon, “Somehow, my vitamin falled into ‘yis.”


At 2:37 am:  “Mommy.  MOmmy…..MOMMY!” What?  “I took off mine socks.” What?  Um, okayzzzzzzz.

At 2:38 am:  “Mommy.  MOMmy.   MOMMY! ” What is it? What’s wrong? “I was hot.  So I took off mine socks.”  Okay. Thanks for telling me. “You’re welcome.”


“Did you know ‘yat if a person was dead, you could cut off le skin and see what is inside?”

“First, there was deserts…….Then…..there was cowboys.”

“Do boys have to ‘queeze their penis to get the pee out?”


“When we go to South Carolina, I hope there are lots of butterflies, and a meadow of flowers, and a big beach, and sno-cones and no leeches.”

“Your mouth smells like a sting-ray.”


Walking in on me while I’m putting on a bra:  “Mommy……..Why do you cover your nibbles?”  (choked-down laughter) Um.  “Is it ‘cuz your boob-ohs are heavy?”  Yes.  Yup, that’s it.

Driving into Target’s first-floor parking garage:  “And now we are flying into le belly of….Le DRAGON!”

“How do you know if you are alive?  It seems like every day is just a dream.  Am I dreaming?”


Watching the 3-D printer at the library finish up what looks like a CD case.  “Yat looks like it is making a SOCK!”

“When I grow up I want to be a Chinese.”

On the swing:  “I’m as high as a COCONAUTILUS!”


“So there were NO people when there were dinosaurs.  So how could I be a tiny egg waiting my turn to be born if there were no people?”

Talking about the cat:  “Shamie got-ted out.  I tried to sit on his poochie belly but he ran too fast. So I yelled at him.  I said “HEY!  SHAMIE!  YOU FAT POOCH TURD!”

“Mommy!  I’m a pioneer girl! …..Actually, I’m not.”


About anything she has almost learned to do, like swimming or tying shoelaces:  “I am AWESOME  OF THIS! Look, MOMmy!  I am a champion of this!”

And lastly, she said this yesterday during a quiet moment at the picnic table, “Mommy.  Don’t you feel so lucky yat you gotted TWO such nice childs?”

Yes. Yes I do.

"Does yis fan make mine hair bigger?"
“Does yis fan make mine hair bigger?”


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